Coming Home
by Sophia.Love.Linstead
Summary: Erin comes back to Chicago in the wake of Jay's fathers death, her plans are sidetracked when Jay's shot.


**A/N: Hey all :) I know it's been ages... but I'd lost my inspiration and also wasn't sure how many are still out there reading Linstead? Didn't get much response to my last few updates... and I've been a little busy buying my first home :)**

**Anyway I started watching Chicago PD again and came up with this... I'm also open to writing more for Fate and my other stories - just let me know.**

**Hope you enjoy :)**

Coming Home

Erin POV

I wring my hands nervously in my lap, eyes scanning the Chicago scenery I miss so much. Street corners and certain buildings pulling my memories back to being partnered with Jay.

My heart aching when I realize it's him I miss.

This city isn't my home, he is.

I anxiously look down at my phone wishing Will would call me back, not daring to try Jay. Wishing to lay eyes on him, not disturb his grief with a phone call.

Jay will think I'm giving polite sympathies like I'm sure he's been shrugging off since it happened.

I give in and try Burgess next, not yet ready to face Hank either.

"Erin?" She answers confused, but happy.

"Hey… how are you?"

"You wanna know where Jay is."

"Yeah." I let out a breathy laugh loving how she knows me so well.

"He's not at home."

"I know, there's no way Jay would sit this out."

"Hank kept him in, but now we have a beat on the suspect so Hank's taken his two way and left him behind."

"You're kidding." I close my eyes in complete disbelief.

"No, he's too close to this Erin."

"I know, and it's exactly why he's not going to sit this out. You've just left him without back up – there's no way he's letting this go." My heart rate speeds up, hands becoming clammy.

"Damn it." I curse as I hang up immediately calling my team in New York for a phone trace.

* * *

I round the corner, gun raised and heart in my throat, only the sound of my feet hitting the pavement.

My eyes land on two figures laying on the ground, the red around them bright and holding my focus.

"Jay!" My voice is frantic, heart dropping into my stomach.

"Jay!" I cry out again, feet taking me to him with barely a glance at the man down beside him.

I dial 911, giving out our details and begging for an ambulance for an officer down.

"Oh my god Jay, you're okay. You're going to be okay." My hand caresses his cheek and his eyes flutter, his haggard breathing becoming noticeable.

A fleeting moment of relief and hope courses through me, my hand moving to open his shirt, my mind pushing away all my fears with what I'll find.

I rip open his vest, checking if the bullet pierced his armor.

"It didn't go through. You're okay." I repeat, moving down to hold pressure to his bleeding gun shoot wound to his side.

"Erin?" He whispers out, squinting up at me.

"Jay, I'm here."

"I must be dead." The words are jarring, my heart breaking all over again.

"No, I'm here." I whisper as his hand comes up weakly to push my hair back, caressing my face.

My salty tears fall down my face at the look in his eyes.

"You can't be."

"I am, right here." His hand drops, the blood loss taking away his strength.

I drop my forehead down to his briefly before pulling back to watch his eyes close.

* * *

I stand back watching Jay sit at the back of the ambulance, the bruise on his chest reminding me just how close he came today.

I cringe at the scolding Hank is giving and make a move to intervene when Adam stops me.

"Hey."

"Hey Ruzek."

"You okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine." I turn away from Jay feeling my vulnerability.

"Hey, it's okay. It's the adrenaline."

I let a sob slip out, bringing my hands up to cover my face. Adam pulls me into his side, comforting me.

"I thought he was dead Adam. He was laying there… and I thought he was dead."

He pulls me in for a tight hug.

"You still love him." He finally whispers.

"Do you ever truly stop loving a man like Jay?"

"So, what you going to do about it?"

* * *

"Erin, what are you doing here?" The look on Jay's face is painful, as I rise from the floor in front of Jay's apartment.

"I… I heard you weren't at the hospital so thought you'd be home."

"How did you know where I live?" I try to ignore the rejection I feel, another chance with Jay more important than my pride.

"The same way I knew where you were today. An FBI analyst." I shrug.

"Look I'm not in the mood tonight Erin, I just came from dads apartment and…"

"I'm not here to fight Jay. Please, can we talk?"

He finally nods and I move aside so he can unlock the door.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"A scotch would be great… got some frazzled nerves."

It's been awkward and silent while he fixes our drinks and neither of us makes a move for the couch.

"What were you doing here today Erin?"

"I knew there was no chance in hell you'd sit this out, Kim told me you were benched and… I had a bad feeling so I tracked you down." The gulp of scotch burns my throat; eyes closed replaying the memory of his body laying there.

"Chicago Erin. Why are you in Chicago?" His tone is cutting, in a way only Jay can do.

"I wanted to see you, see how you're doing after I found out your dad died."

"A phone call not enough?" Something in me snaps, emotions pouring out after being help in for far too long.

"No. It's not. Neither are the photos, or your shirts that don't smell like you anymore, or the voicemails I've never deleted. It's just not enough anymore Jay."

He takes a few beats, tears stinging his eyes before he clears his throat and downs his drink.

"You didn't make it back for Al's funeral." Tears slip down my cheeks, the ache never really leaving me.

"I was deep cover… I didn't hear about it until I got pulled out last week. I just… can't believe it." A sob escapes my mouth, not caring to lock up my emotions tonight.

It's not done me any favors in the past.

"You know… he's the one who called me that time I was deep in that hole… told me you were taken… he's the reason I got another chance with you. I owe him a lot." Jay takes a hesitant step forward, hand brushing away a tear.

"Thank you." He finally whispers, placing a long and intimate kiss on my forehead.

"You saved my life today."

"Just like old times." His nose brushes mine briefly and I ache to join our lips, knowing that he's in a vulnerable place and it would be easy to have him again.

Even if only for one night.

"I really am sorry Jay, about your dad." I grab his hand, not wishing to break contact but knowing if we fall into bed before hashing it out, we won't make it more than a night.

It's taken a long time apart to know that isn't enough with the man in front of me, I'm after forever.

"You know better than anyone what our relationship was like."

"I know. Complicated. But it doesn't mean you aren't in pain… things were complicated with Bunny and I'd still fight my way in to the case just like you did. We don't get to pick our family Jay."

"Not always anyway. There is a time when we can." I raise my eyebrow at him before shrugging.

"I mean… me? I left Chicago for Bunny. After everything she did… I took that job in New York to protect her. I left my city, and my home… the man I loved. I thought I'd lost everything, my job, you… so it made sense."

"You didn't even say goodbye."

"If I looked into your eyes Jay, I wouldn't have left." My voice breaks, averting my eyes.

"That wouldn't have been a bad thing."

"Sure it would have Jay. You'd left me. We were over… staying would have just got me hurt again. I'm over begging people to stay… begging people to love me." My voice breaks, feeling the pain all over again.

"I do love you Erin." I'm relieved to hear present tense.

"That day… that last day, I was…" he trails off nervously, seemingly beating himself up.

"What Jay?"

"I was carrying around an engagement ring."

"What?" I breath out shocked.

"I'd screwed up with you. I knew it… but I also realized that you were it for me. The one… and so, I was going to ask you to be mine again. To be my wife."

"Jay… you were going through a lot back then…"

"I saw someone. Upton, she convinced me to really open up to my counselor. It helped… and even after I've dealt with my trauma and my triggers – and yes it's still a work in progress. But I never regretted planning to ask you that question. If there is anything I'm certain of in life- it's you."

"Upton?" My voice can't hide my jealousy, my curiosity and he smirks at me.

"Just partners Erin. No one could compare to you, from early on I knew that one day we'd have our time. I fell in love with you – faults and all. I love your smile, and your laugh, especially when you're laughing at me. The way your eyes can be stone cold with someone else, but with me they show all of your emotions. You're tough and strong, and don't take crap."

"I wish you'd let me love your faults too."

"Trust me, I do too… but you took time to let me love yours – so I guess I needed it too."

"Maybe… this time apart did us some good." I finally whisper, his hands find my hips and bring me into his chest.

I nuzzle his neck and wrap my arms tightly around his body.

"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. I think I cried all the way to New York." I whisper into his neck, inhaling his distinct smell and never wanting to leave.

"You don't know how many times I bought a ticket to New York, then talked myself out of going?" His lips kiss my hair, and I feel a tear slip down onto my cheek from above.

"You scared the hell out of me today Jay." He pulls me tighter.

"I thought you were dead… I saw you on the ground… and time stopped." Jay pulls back, stares into my eyes weighing up his next move.

My heart stops when his lips land on mine, soft at first, before becoming fueled by passion. Our time apart has only allowed our attraction to grow, I whimper at the feeling of being in his arms again after all this time only dreaming about it.

"I can't ever lose you Jay. I can't…"

"Today will be as close as you come. I promise." He whispers, before sealing the promise with a kiss.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed, I do have an idea for another chapter.**

**Please review and let me know your thoughts.**

**Thanks, Lexi :)**


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